I’ve recently been getting a load of entertainment (purely research related of course…) from Hot or Not which I officially consider to be the most frightening website around. For a start, some of the ugliest people I’ve ever seen seem to be scoring in the 8s and 9s which means either most of the people looking at them are blind or they’ve just been voting for themseves a lot. Secondly, reading their keywords makes me scared for the human race.
A lot of people put “sex” in their keywords/interests and I just don’t understand that. It’s about as interesting to read as “I like going out and spending time with my friends”. Yawn. Who doesn’t? If you’re going to do that, you should probably also mention that you like to breathe from time to time and occasionally eat three meals a day. More even, if you’re like me.
Men also seem to go with a picture of themselves with babies or puppies – that’s guaranteed a high score. If there are no babies or puppies, they settle with guns. I give those men very low ratings though because they’re just not trying. If they’ve got a gun they could easily go and hijack a baby and a puppy. That’s just laziness.
Talking of laziness, everyone declares themselves as fit and into working out. Of course they are. “Caring” also seems to be a popular word with the men, as does “romantic” and “cuddling”. Are women really that stupid? Awww look he’s caring and likes romantic cuddles! I’msa gonna gives him a 10 I ams.
So here we have it: *clears throat*
Hello, my name is Lynne and I hate my friends and rarely go out. I like to breathe from time to time and eat more than three meals a day when I’m hungry. I’m so unfit I can barely get up the stairs. I’m also pretty uncaring and romance makes me sick. Don’t even think about touching me or I’ll punch you in the face. Sex is a no-no. If you like what you hear, hit me up.
I also enjoy some of the emails I get sent. Now don’t get me wrong – flattery will get you everywhere. But there are just some methods that I’m only ever going to find amusing. I just got sent this on myspace:
heya!
HOW THE FUCK are you doin? lol
not sure what a girl like you’d doin on fuckin myspace, you look like you should be in FHM or something. im corny, lol.
xx
Dear God. First of all, myspace attracts a lot of weird people and I really should only let people I know send me messages. I can’t help it though, I find it too entertaining. Secondly, who the hell is he kidding? The only way I would ever get into FHM is if I was a “before” picture.
Still, I particularly liked the ‘HOW THE FUCK are you doin’ – caps AND profanities, what more could a girl want?
I’m off for a cold shower.
I work in the dating industry and you have only cracked the surface of a very horrible and tedious crust. The ’sex as an interest’ thing is basically the guy (I’ll speak in the 3rd person even though I am a guy) testing the waters (because women that are interested in sex may want to have it with them lol) The ‘I am romantic and caring’ thing is more common and is basically him telling the lady what he thinks she wants to hear. The random caps thing also happens a lot, not to mention the faux aggression (which they mistake as confidence). And trust me, if there are guys stupid enough to do this, there are women stupid enough to fall for it.
You had me at ‘three meals a day.’
nice profile re-write, I feel that you might just appeal to a whole new section of weirdo’s.
I posted a cartoon picture of me with a piece of glass in my forehead. I’m not really sure what that says about me as a person, or what it’ll do for my chances with other women. Personally, I’m expecting a whole VAN full of girls to raid my house and tear my clothes off in the next hour or so. We can only wait and see.
I have to say, I’m hot or not with a normal picture of myself, no guns or puppies included. The only thing that really ticks me off is the amount of 1’s I get. I mean, sure I’m no oil painting. But aren’t the 1’s for morbidly obese people with a serious acne problem who have crooked teeth, wonky eyes and various other deformed features? If I’m a 1, where on earth would they be!?